Entry 4: seventeen, junior year

I’m in speech; the bell hasn’t rung yet. I came here early because people weren’t really talking to me all that much in the hall. It’s not that I’m so attention starved, it’s just that I feel like no one out there really cares if I’m there anymore. [Ug. So high school. Except we still get those feelings sometimes, which sucks... I can totally picture my 17-year-old self writing intensely in my journal to look busy.] Oh, well. This morning I got grilled by a somewhat triumphant Canace about Rod’s and my date last night. Turns out it took him an hour to get the balls to call me last night. Enid was disappointed I didn’t “pick Mark.” Jeez, you’d think I engaged the guy. Newkirk’s starting class, gotta go! ~7:36

Same day, 8:56 am.

Waiting for class to end. We did learn something that’s pertinent to my life today though. We learned about the different kinds of power. I realized that the types are all pretty easy to spot and are valid to real life. [I so wish I had written down these "types of power." After thinking about the workings of "power" for the next six years of school, it fascinates me to think about what I learned about it in a high school speech class. Plus, that teacher was the guy who lambasted the drinking age / military enlistment age argument as being totally invalid. Blah.] Hehe, Jackie got put with Daniel again. She can’t seem to get away from him! It was great, too, cuz when they called his name, you could practically feel her crossing her fingers, hoping and praying they wouldn’t say her name. And whose name was called next? Oh, that would be Jackie. Danielle and I just cracked up. It was very amusing. ~9:00

Same day...

In pre-calc once again. We get to watch October Sky, but I’d rather write. [Why were we watching October Sky in pre-calc? Was this a subliminal message from a post-Cold War institution that we should be using our math classes to eventually build rockets? Or did she just not have a lesson plan for that day? (Totally didn't remember the movie at all--just looked it up on IMDB.)]Though I cannot write down everything I should at this point due to my present company, I can tell about some. [Intriguing...] This week, in its entirety, was pretty fulfilling. I guess I’ll start my physical description of today from the beginning. I woke up to that song I hate, and when that comes on first thing, I’m grinding my teeth as I awaken. So I literally pulled myself out of the warm bed and dragged my feet to the bathroom. [Have you heard that David Cross skit about people using the word “literally” improperly? When you use it wrong, you REALLY fuck up!] I was definitely running late, but had to shave so I was pretty screwed. [So goes the average troubles of a middle-class white girl.]

I get to school, go to speech. Sorry, too many distractions in this room. I had to put up with Newkirk’s pink stupidity. I got put in Kevin’s group; spent that “group time” writing my previous entry. Gym was sort of weird; Wes’s being kinda of different lately. He’s not as flirty and outgoing as he used to be; he’s acting more like we have this emotional connection and I’m hurting him somehow. Like when he helped me up as always, he held on to my hand a lot longer than normal and asked me if we were still on for Saturday. I said yeah, etc., give me a call and let me know what time it is. The good thing is that it’s in Batavia. The bad things are that 1) I don’t want to give him the wrong impression and 2) I’m not gonna know anyone there. Oh, and 3) I don’t wanna drink/smoke. And I’m kinda wanting to go to a haunted house with Sara and others that night. So I’m booked for the weekend and not really wanting to be. [Weren't you just worried about no one paying attention to you? Ah, the fickleness begins... :)] Chemistry was pretty crappy, and I was sort of looking forward to the possibility of seeing Ron afterwards like yesterday. But that didn’t happen, did it? Oh well. Lunch was basically uneventful and then comes pre-calc. I’m sitting here with Molly, Nick, Cesar, and Max. Oy. That’s really all that needs to be said. So even though we have another ½ hour, I’m going to go now.

Not much to say about this one. I'm getting excited, though! The good stuff's coming.